Are labels important?

“Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Are we dating exclusively?”

“What’s the current status of our relationship?”

These are just some of the most crucial questions being asked in a relationship. The question most women want to ask…

And most men dread to hear.

For women, they need to know where the relationship is going, while most men would just want to enjoy the ride.

And if the woman doesn’t demand any commitment, the guy’s just as happy to let the relationship run its course.

Friends with benefits (FWBs) also crudely known as f*ck buddies (FUBUs) are every guy’s dream.

You know what?” my guy-friend said, “Most guys only agree to labels because that’s what the women want… and demand.”

Actually, we are quite content without the label,” he added. “If the relationship is going well, they’ll stay. If the relationship’s going down, they’ll bail. No ‘label’ necessary.

Usually, the women prefer labels,” he concluded. “You women want to know particularly if you’re boyfriend/girlfriend, hanging out or just dating… For me, if you consistently are with that woman on a regular basis, you’re basically boyfriend/girlfriend. You don’t need to say it out loud anymore.”

Hmmm… is this true, guys?

*scratches head*

Would u want the relationship to be clear, or vague?

Do you want to know the status of your relationship with your significant other?

Personally, I prefer knowing what the status is on the relationship.

My guy friend asked me if it is because I wanted to restrict the other person from dating other people, once we’re officially boyfriend/girlfriend.

I admitted that though that was a factor, the reason was that it makes life a lot easier for me.

For me, it’s uncomfortable when I introduce someone as a “friend,” when we’re in fact we’re more than friends. It’s also simpler when handling guys who ask me out.

If I’m in a committed relationship, I simply turn them away. But if the relationship is vague, I usually fumble on the appropriate response.

It’s just my personality not to date two guys at the same time.

I’m just stupid in that sense.

So sue me.

What’s more, it also legalizes your actions in a relationship.

Coming from a more conservative background, I still feel uncomfortable when I’m kissing someone who’s not my boyfriend.

It just doesn’t seem… or feel… right.

I can do it once or twice, but long-term wise, it drives me nuts!

As my pseudo-love psychiatrist (Mike) would say, “Don’t make me go through that again!!!” I drive him completely nuts when I’m in a non-legal relationship.

For guys, the label is nothing. But for me, the label is still important.

I need to know where the relationship is. I don’t have the patience to wait and make out with you — all the while not knowing where everything is going. I need a minimum amount of control in such that I know that as much as I adore and like to be with you, you feel the same way.

And though it’s not a guarantee, the label does that.

You may not care about the label. But if you care about me enough, you can take my needs into consideration and for my sake… be willing to make some sort of commitment!

And at the least, I know that since you’re willing to enter some sort of commitment, you do feel a deeper sense of emotion for me.

As my guy friend said when I asked him what’s the difference between a girl you’re merely f*cking and a girl you’re in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with…

Guys can have sex with a woman without feeling anything for her,” he said. “But you have to at least have a minimum amount of feeling and affection toward a girlfriend.”

And that’s what I want.

Labels do mean something.

So how about you guys?

Do you think labels are important? Or can you just make do without it? Would love to hear what you think!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to Are labels important?

  1. ... beachfreak says:

    Hmm. Good point.

    Well, I’ve always been a sucker for labels. It’s because I need to know where I’m in and what I’m getting myself into.

    I can make do without the labels, but I don’t want to go insane in the brain thinking if you are a fubu or a boyfriend. I’m much too old to go berserk over that.

    My take: Give me something to work on. I’ll take it from there.

  2. raven says:

    Beachfreak, I totally agree with you. I don’t mind the gray area especially in the beginning of the relationship, but don’t keep me in the gray area for long.

    I’d definitely go insane!

  3. eventuallypretty says:

    can someone take me to the institution now? *lol* nah, i just need a few shots. *lol* really.

    good one raven. 🙂

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