Fighting for freedom…

Haven’t’ really had a lot of time lately. Been swamped at work!

But life goes on… as usual, my social life has been quite busy.

That’s what you get for the head honcho of an organization. It keeps you real busy.

But the great thing is, I enjoy it a lot too. It would be fair to say that the organization I’m in is one of the highlights of my stay in Taiwan.

Recently, my parents, especially my mom, have been applying subtle pressure in wanting to go back home to Manila. She wants me to help take care of the family finances while my dad wants me to start applying for my MBA degree at the Asian Institute of Management (to those not from the Philippines, AIM is one of the most prestigious MBA schools in Asia).

Bottomline is, they miss me and want me home.

Frankly, I don’t think I’m ready yet.

When I got my mom’s emails, I felt a bout of heavy emotion welling up inside.

It scares me sh*tless.

I was afraid that any day now, they’ll send me an email requesting me to go back home. And we all know that “asking” is actually an “order” in disguise.

One thing for sure, I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK HOME.

I don’t think I’m ready yet.

So if ever that time comes, I’d have to seriously contemplate my circumstances.

I can choose to stay and disobey my parents…

OR

Obey and go home in what I’m sure will be a life full of unhappiness, slavery and misery…

Right now, I don’t want to face such decision yet.

I’d like to remain carefree and stay in Taiwan with my parents’ blessing.

But if push comes to shove, I may have to reinforce the fact that though I love them, I’m already an adult, and would appreciate it if they could respect my opinion and let me stay longer.

Hence, I wrote my mom and asked for her opinion. Here’s part of my long email to her:

“Secondly, as for going home, I understand that you need me home to take care of the finances. You asked me for my opinion and here it is, if I go home early next year, I KNOW I will not be happy. Right now, I am having the time of my life spreading out my wings, gaining experience, meeting lots of interesting people, planning and implementing projects and just discovering who I am. I cannot do that once I am home. Mom, I feel I’ve matured quite a lot since coming to Taiwan, but I feel I still need more time to grow and discover myself. And I need to do this without you or dad’s help… I need to discover this on my own, and appreciate that you are giving me the time and freedom to do so.

To give you an analogy, ever since I was young, I’ve always been in you and dad’s shadow. I remember, I used to think that I love to eat beef noodles… because we’d eat beef noodles thrice a week. But upon reaching Taiwan, I found myself not eating beef noodles for an entire year! It was then that I realized it was dad who loved to eat beef noodles and not me. I prefer rice instead. Or for example, back in Manila, I found myself being late for almost every appointment… but here in Taiwan, I realized I am always on time. I then saw that it’s dad who’s usually late… but I would never have realized this back home.

It’s these little things that make a difference mom, and I feel that I’ve matured A LOT than if I’ve stayed back home. I look at all my friends back home, and realized how different I am right now. I love you all but I can tell you right now, that early next year is not the time to come back. I feel that there’s still a lot more to experience and learn… and I can’t do it if dad clips my wings.”

Does it sound too harsh?

But at least, it’s honest.

I’m literally fighting for my freedom here.

I don’t want to be like the bird in a golden cage.

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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