Pretty ugly?

Do you know when I was very VERY ugly as a baby?

All right, so most of you have never seen me up close. But I assure you, I’m a lot better-looking than I was as a baby. And no, it’s not yet the right time for me to publish my baby pic. Given the choice, I’d lock them up away forever! Bwahahaha!

Anyway, take it from me — I was a very ugly baby.

Some kids were cute because they were dimply and happy looking.

I was cute because I was ugly.

Don’t laugh.

Really, don’t laugh.

All my uncles and auntie said so. Even my dad, has said so. And I’m like *raise eyebrows*, and whose genes are at fault here?!

I got my mom’s small eyes, and thin hair, and my dad’s large forehead, pudgy nose and thick lips. Fortunately, I also inherited my dad’s great skin, but of course, when you’re a baby, everyone’s skin was good so that didn’t count. It seems that I got the worst features from my parents.

My mom’s nose is pretty straight, but nooooo, had to get my dad’s nose.

My mom’s lips are pretty normal, but nooooo, had to get my dad’s thick lips.

At that time, Angelina Jolie was not yet a sex symbol, and so thick, luscious lips were not a good feature for women to have. I’d bet she was teased so much as a kid. Heck, even my brother said her lips were like a duck’s… and he has lips like hers as well!

Anyway, point is, I was pretty… pretty ugly!

It’s funny now, but at that time, it wasn’t. I’d rather be a cute baby than an ugly one. Who wouldn’t?

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As my dad has said (and yes, he did really say something like this), “XXXX, since you are not very beautiful, you have to find something else to make your mark in this world. You have to study hard or excel in some field; otherwise, you cannot get married.”

Hmmm… I don’t think he used the word marriage, but it seems that if I don’t succeed in something, I won’t have a good life. Or something like that.

Eeeps, parents would always be the ones to say their sons/daughters are handsome/pretty. So imagine your dad saying you’re not very beautiful.

Ouch! 🙁

Maybe that’s why I studied so hard.

All right, I was never the valedictorian, but at least, I had very good grades and was a student leader in many organizations. Back in Manila, people never really complimented me on my looks, but they’ve always complimented me on my brains, talent and leadership skills…

I may not have been the best, but I was surely one of the people on top of her game.

Before Taiwan, I’ve always yearned for a “beauty” comment. Sigh, seems that we always wish for something we don’t have. But I’ve never really gotten it.

Ironically, it was only when I was in Taiwan that I started to blossom, so to speak. Here, I’ve more often than not have heard the words, “beautiful,” “hot,” “cute,” “pretty,” “feminine,” and “sexy.” I don’t usually hear these words back home.

*shrug*

I don’t really know if I should believe them or not… but hear them enough times, and you start believing it. Admittedly, it’s a good boost to my self-esteem.

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But you know what? Given a choice of beauty or brains, I’ll probably choose brains. Beauty does enhance a person, but it can only get you so far.

If you have nothing inside your head, you’ll never get people’s respect. And people’s respect is one of the most important things for success.

So how did an ugly baby — become a beautiful babe? 🙂

Okay, so am exaggerating. Still think that physically, I’m just your normal average gal who takes good care of herself. But really? If I started off so ugly, why do I look decent now?

Some people say it’s the education and upbringing…

A person who is well-educated is usually a lot more confident about themselves, and the right attitude makes a person beautiful. Plus, my parents have always told me to be proud of myself, and to let myself shine. I think that helped.

Some say it’s the outfit…

Okay, I admit it: I usually dress sexy.

Not whorish sexy, but sexy enough to subtly catch someone’s attention.

I have a strict dad back home so anything sleeveless was barred at home. Spaghetti straps was a no-no. So ultimately, Taiwan was a liberating experience for me in such that I get to wear whatever I want. And what I want are tanktops, halter tops, tunics and anything that shows a little bit of skin. Heck, even mini-skirts if I’m going partying. That was never an option back home.

Even at the height of winter, I still dare to wear summer outfits. I’ll just layer a couple of them and am off! Showing skin, so long as it’s appropriate, is never bad.

Some says it’s the mind…

I think the fact that I can speak fluent English with no accent whatsoever do help. And it still puzzles new acquaintances to death on why I can speak perfect English, even though I’ve never lived in the US.

Another is because I have a mind, and use it whenever I can.

I’m never the type to keep my opinions all to myself. And I have a host on opinions in a broad range of subjects. Personally, I can talk about politics, economics, the weather, love, life, and just anything under the sun. I’m also a vivid learner. If I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’d like to learn more, and listen to you explain to me the basics. Am pretty open to new ideas.

And that, at least for most people, make me an interesting person to talk to.

While some says, it’s the personality…

I’m a happy person. My friends say that sometimes, I’m so happy that they’d like to strangle me! How can a person be that happy, optimistic, and idealistic 24/7?!

But then again, am also quite moody. But usually, when I’m with friends, I’m happy. Because it’s always my belief that friends deserve the best of your company. Even if you’re tired and grumpy, do make an effort to create a positive atmosphere when with friends.

But actually, it has something to do with the heart.

I think I’m not perfect.

I have my flaws.

I’ve been hurt, and have unintentionally hurt people as well.

But the fact that I am imperfect and human makes me a “real” person to be with.

With me, there are no pretenses. If I like you, you’ll know. If I don’t really like you, am at the most polite, but I’m never fake. Close friends of mine are sensitive enough to detect whether or not I like you. They know, cause it shows.

Am not perfect — In fact, I can be quite critical of others sometimes, and this is something I’m trying to learn amend (which I think is going to be a continuous struggle). But I’d like to believe that I try to be a good person. I fail sometimes, but I try. As a friend, I can be the most devoted of friends. And you know that with me, I’m always real.

So how did an ugly baby become a beautiful babe?

A mixture of education, upbringing, poise, intellect, personality and heart.

I’m not perfect, this I know. I also know there are a lot of people more beautiful and sexier than I am, but you know what?

I don’t really care.

At the moment, this is who I am. This is what God has given me. And the best way is to make the most of it, and use my life to be a better person physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and more…

So how about you? How do you make yourself more beautiful?

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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4 Responses to Pretty ugly?

  1. Manila Office Worker says:

    change is the one constant in life. we are never the same people we used to be. from second to second, we are changing and growing and developing.

    the important thing is to channel that growth in a positive way. having said that, the question now is are we changing into people our younger selves would be proud of?

    some food for thought there.

  2. raven says:

    Wow, that was deep. But you’re right MOW, we have to continuously improve ourselves. The moment we stop, we get left behind.

  3. Hazel N says:

    Talk about blowing your own trumpet!

  4. raven says:

    Hazel N, yes, you’re right. :)Guilty as charged. I was actually quite hesitant to publish this post for that reason… But usually, when writing my entries, I start with a blank Word document, and just start writing. Most of the time, the end result surprises me.

    This is one such entry. Reading back to what I have written, I was surprised on how arrogant I may sound. And as it’s our nature to maintain our humility, I was frankly quite hesitant to publish it. But after a while, I figured, this is my personal blog. I could express whatever I feel at that time. So if I felt confident about myself at that point in time, I think it would be just right to publish it in my blog and not censor it just for the facade of being humble.

    Ever since I’ve started this blog, I’ve decided to always be true and sincere to myself. I don’t really like censoring my words, and I think it’s better that way. I’m not apologizing for publishing this post, but I do apologize for making you feel that I was blowing my trumpet too loud.

    That wasn’t really my intention. Peace!

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