Dating VS. Hanging Out

What is the difference between a “date” and “hanging out?”

*scratches head*

Up till now, I have no idea what the difference is. And when I ask my friends, they all give me different answers…

One friend said, “If there are romantic intentions, it’s a date.”

Great, so what if one is romantically interested, while the other just thinks of the first person as a friend… is that a date? Or, what if you’re kinda attracted to a person, but you’re not that interested yet… are those dates?

Another friend suggested, “If it’s just the two of you (of the opposite gender), it’s a date.”

Great, so my friend Michael is cheating on his girlfriend because we have a habit of eating dinner together one-on-one regularly. But then again, we both know we’ll never be. We are just looking for two different things and are too different for a relationship. We know we’re just that… friends. And how about having frequent brunches with Jose? So, were those dates?

Another friend said, “If he pays for everything, it’s a date.”

Geez. Another friend Mark insists on paying for everything just because he was taught that women should not be allowed to pay. If a guy goes out with a girl, the guy pays (being quite traditional here). So, were those dates?

Another friend said, “If a guy treats you special, it’s a date.”

Oh, but the thing is, most of my guy friends treat me in a very special manner… but both parties know the status of a relationship.

Oooh, and one more, “If there’s a kiss in the end, it’s a date.”

But how about more “conservative” women like me who do not kiss men on the first date? Or the second. Usually, a hug is the norm… but it doesn’t mean I’m not interested, get it?

Point is, I have no idea!!! Can ANYONE tell me the difference between hanging out and a date?! And please, do explain why. I’m at a loss here.

HELP!

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It’s so funny. I’ve never been out in a date “date,” really…

Even with my ex, we never officially went out on dates. We hung out sooo much that we never really had to start “dating.” And when we finally got together, it was a sudden transition from friends, to boyfriend and girlfriend.

I even asked him one day, “Have we ever been out on a date?”

To which he scratches his head and replied, “Well…. Hmmm… We did go to the night market once. Remember the time when we ate snake?”

To which I asked in surprise, “WAS THAT A DATE?!!!” *raises eyebrows*

My ex kinda thinks so… but we both agreed it wasn’t a date in the truest sense of the word. It was more like two good friends hanging out, which was exactly what happened.

So technically, I’ve never had a date yet.

Weird, huh?

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Okay, so I’m not the date master. In fact, I would really appreciate it if someone can just take me out on a real date!!! Hmmm… maybe I can ask one of my friends to do so. The single ones of course!

I’m no relationship-breaker.

Some readers (thank you for visiting this site!!!) have commented that my blog sounds more like Sex and the City. To which, I ask with a sly grin, “Haha, if this was like Sex and the City… where’s the sex?!”

My friend Mark has always teased me that now that I’m the de-facto president of the organization I’m in, my love/sex life is going to suck!

Guys are usually intimidated with women of power… 🙁

First, they assume that I’m already taken (if they wanted to know, they could’ve just asked!). And secondly, they’re just too shy cause am too loud! Sigh. Maybe he’s right then. NOT!

But I feel flattered and equally humbled with the comparison. To some people who come and visit my blog, and share in with what’s been happening in my life… I am very thankful. Am just a stranger, but for some reason, your thoughtful comments have allowed me to form some sort of connection with you. So thank you!

Anyway, gotta work now… so write again tomorrow! And please, do enlighten me on the difference between dating and hanging out. I’d really want to know…

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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8 Responses to Dating VS. Hanging Out

  1. Paoyu says:

    If you want to convey the message, “you’re looking for something more than just being friends”, then its a date. Otherwise, its just hanging out.

    From experience, girls freak out when they hear the term “date”, so best to not use the term. Until some kind of relationship has been formed, hanging out will become dates. When you’ve become a couple, the dates becomes hanging out again. They are one and the same, just a matter of context ^__^

  2. raven says:

    Thank you Paoyu for your input. 🙂 And yes, I freak out when I hear the term “date” especially if I’m not interested in the person…

    Hope I can get more input from other readers too!

  3. eventuallypretty says:

    if the guy has clear ‘intentions’ then its a date. if not consider it hanging out.

    yeah females get paranoid all over with the word date. so easy on the term guys *lol* and girls better to be on the safe side consider everything as hanging out first. haha…

    ps raven i think i agree with your friend who says its a date when you allow your date to kiss you. you just don’t do that with everyone you hang out with 😉

  4. raven says:

    Hey EventuallyPretty, nice of u to drop by again! 🙂 Yeah, I guess, a kiss makes it a date. But that happens only after the nth time u see each other and ONLY AFTER am sure I’m interested in him.

  5. Manila Office Worker says:

    it’s good to know i’m not the only one who’s confused by “dates” and “hanging out”. here in manila, we hang out all the time however it’s true that “date” is treated with much paranoia and fear.

    i would say that they’re the same thing. i’ve pretty much purged the word “date” from my vocabulary so, even if other people think it’s a date, i still think of it as hanging out.

    and, yes, i’ve never been on a real date either.

    or have i? hmm…

  6. abe says:

    my two cents in dating & hanging out..

    date : usually do this with the person that i’m physically attracted with. I agree with Paoyu and eventuallypretty.

    hanging out : usually do this with my girlfriends.

  7. raven says:

    Manila Office Worker and Abe, thanks for dropping by and for your inputs. Abe, dami mo palang “girlfriends!” 🙂 MOW, yes, the word “date” is something you can do without — especially if you’re just starting out.

  8. abe says:

    yup i actually do! hehehe… And people are wondering of i’m gar or not! I’m straight mind you…it’s just that almost all of my friends are girls…i even lived with them…hehehe…lucky me!

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