What’s the big deal about money?

* Since I’ll be gone the whole weekend, this is my entry for Saturday. Happy weekend!

After two consecutive weekends of partying too much, I’ve decided to take a break.

Aaah… I’m going to Hualien tomorrow (company-subsidized activity). Should be very relaxing. Hualien and Taroko Gorge is said to be a must-see vacation venue. I was there at least a year ago, and it would be nice to go there again.

I didn’t really have fun the last time around. My ex kept on flirting with some other woman!!! Aaaargh. Of course, at that time, we weren’t together yet, but still, I liked him enough to be jealous. 🙁

Plus, it didn’t help that we had an accident in Taroko Gorge. Our bus hit the side of the mountain and my window broke. Shards of glass went to my hair.

Good thing I wasn’t hurt. Just my heart.

Argh. Past is past.

Anyway, this time, it’ll be a lot better. All I want now is a weekend of relaxation. The next couple of weekends would be extra busy, so I’ll need all the rest I can get! Beach party on the 25th! Get to wear my bikini. Yay!

Wrist still hurts though. Am getting quite concerned.

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Yesterday, had a lot of fun having dinner with some new and old friends. Night outs like these — where you have no expectations whatsoever — are always fun! Of course, like any first meetings, we talked about the topic EVERYONE is interested in — relationships.

Haha, if you can’t talk about anything, talk about relationships. Everyone has an opinion. 🙂

Actually, I was quite happy talking about the CFA (for finance majors) exam and accounting ethics, but people were getting bored, so we had to talk about something else. Geez, and I was quite content talking about something very intellectual for a change. I was actually getting some real estate tips!

Anyway…

John was sharing with us his friend’s story. On the first date, before arriving in the venue, the friend sent a whole bunch of flowers to the girl. Her friends saw it and they were pissed that the friend was giving her a lot of “pressure.” The girl was embarrassed, and that shot his chances for her down the drain.

My stand: If the girl doesn’t like you as much, nothing you do is quite right. Give her flowers, escort her home, blah, blah… all wrong. But if she likes you, everything you do is perfect.

So it’s all quite relative. And nothing you do will ever change that. Sure, you can attempt to change her mind, but heck, if she doesn’t like you or isn’t interested, sorry. You’re out of the game.

I speak for myself of course, but I’m quite sure it applies to other women too. Or if they’re going out with you but aren’t really interested, she’s just suckering you for a free expensive dinner, so don’t be stupid.

If I’m interested and you ask me out, I’ll find a way to go out with you. Heck, I may even cancel a previous appointment (ahead of time of course; but this doesn’t happen very often. I usually stick to my appointments). Hey, I’ll even suggest an alternative date and venue if that day isn’t available.

If I’m not that interested, maybe I will and maybe I won’t. So you better persist. But if you don’t exude any bad vibes, I could still probably go out with you at least for coffee or to hang out.

But if I’m not interested whatsoever, sorry. You’ve had your chance before (when we just first met), and for some reason, you just didn’t make the right impression.

Brutal?

Yes. But hey, I’m sure guys are like that to me as well. I’m just being realistic.

True or not? I guess it was true, because everyone in the table kept on nodding their heads in agreement.

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Which brings me to another topic we’ve talked about — of Chinese being way too realistic and practical.

When you ask a typical Taiwanese woman what type of man she’d marry, she’d most likely half-jokingly say, “A very very rich man.”

No, I don’t know why they say that. Get use to it.

Ask me the same question and I’d probably say, “A man of excellent character and integrity, attractiveness…” or whatever. But money, is the furthest thing in my mind right now.

My ex used to tease me that it’s only because I was born with money. Well, I don’t know the reason but I’m pretty sure I was with him not because of the money, considering he was merely a student and unemployed at that time. Heck, I even sometimes paid for our meals!

But really, money was never really a priority for me. Just to clarify though, I am not a rich woman. I’m actually a pauper, but I’ve never starved. So does that make me ultra-rich?

No. But it does mean that I’m part of the comfortable middle class.

Point is, you need money. You need money to eat, clothe yourself, find shelter, and basically sustain the five of six basic needs people have. But once you reach a point, everything else is extra.

Money won’t make you happy. As they say, money is neutral. It can be your greatest slave (if you put it in a bank) or your worst master (if you’re in debt). That’s why, I have no idea why people are preoccupied with the concept of money…

I’ve seen men whose lives are destroyed because of money. My father is a paranoid man because of money. The lack of it may create stress for you and your family, but likewise, money alone cannot make you happy.

So why do these Taiwanese women place money as their first factor in choosing a husband?!

They’re too practical. Or maybe too materialistic. I’ve never seen a bunch of women more preoccupied with buying expensive, overpriced branded goods (but then again, haven’t really lived in Hongkong).

They always want something better. It’s always more… more… MORE!!!

No wonder people here have a trust issue.

It’s quite common here for women to try to date “up.” Even if they’re with someone, they are still on a lookout for someone better. And once they find someone better who likes them back, they latch on to him and jump boats. And the cycle goes on and on…

It’s sad. But that’s practicality for you.

They’ll probably end up as prima donnas who don’t even need to work. All they need to do is look good and have tea with their friends all day. Now, that’s the good life, isn’t it? All you do is entertain, smile and have kids. Your parents-in-law and husband will take care of the bills and give you allowance to buy that LV bag you want — in two different colors.

But that’s not for me.

Maybe I’m just too idealistic… or some people will say, stupid even.

I’d rather look at the guy’s character, than the money on his wallet. Personality, attitude towards life and integrity matters more to me than his family’s wealth. Marry to a rich son without a spine, and you’ll end up as the family’s slave for life.

I don’t want that. I’d rather marry a good, decent, attractive (at least for me; I still want to wake up beside him everyday) man who loves me for who I am.

But maybe, that’s why I’m still single. Do dreamers ever find their match?

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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