I was arguing with my guy friend the other day.
I was insisting that sometimes, you meet someone where you feel an immediate connection to him/her. Upon meeting that person, you feel that he/she knows you and understands your innermost being. You can talk for hours and feel that you don’t run out of things to say…
“No, XXXX. He does not know you,” argues my guy friend. “He may know ABOUT you, but he doesn’t know who you are — yet.“
There’s a difference?
So it seems.
When I first meet a person with whom I have an instant connection, I find myself openly sharing with that person some secrets few people know. For example, I’ve told him about my precarious family situation, my not-happening love life, my hopes, my fears, and anything under the sun.
I know, I know. This is stupid. I’m being so naïve and trusting. You don’t really tell everyone your secrets. But I’m still young and idealistic.
Anyway, when that happens, the person knows ABOUT you.
You tell him/her a story, and he/she files it in his/her memory. So the next time you retell the story, he/she will remember. You can use such story as a basis for other future stories.
In such, if a person asks him about me, he should have enough information to answer in a more accurate manner.
But KNOWING A PERSON, now, that’s different.
My family knows a side of me.
My friends know another side of me.
To know, requires time… time to see that person in action.
After seeing me undergo such and such experience through a period of time, that’s when you gradually know the person. It’s like, knowing about a person is merely heresay. I am telling you what type of person I am like. But what I tell you, and what I am actually doing, may actually be two different things.
For example, I may claim that I am a giving, unselfish person. But if I treat other people around me in a selfish way, I may delude myself into thinking that I am unselfish… even though I actually am.
Knowing a person, however, is actually seeing it for yourself.
Through time, you get to know whether or not the claims I make about myself is true or not. By observing me and my actions/decisions through a period of time, you are able to gather enough data to predict how I would react and feel in the future given a similar situation.
That’s why, my new friend may know a lot about me.
But my old friends actually know me.
They’ve seen the changes that I’ve actually undergone during the past two years.
At that time, I was still simple, naïve and innocent. Of course, I’m still simple, naïve and innocent right now, but not as much as I was then. During the past two years, I started going to clubs, staying out late, and gone through one serious relationship. I do believe I’ve changed quite a bit from before.
And my friends were there to see all these changes happen.
Hence, they know me. Or at least, they know me enough to have a good idea on the person that I am.
Get the point?
How about you? How many people do you KNOW?
Geez, I do think too much, don’t I?