Mike and I continued to exchange some light banter. And, in addition to the mainstream music, I was enjoying his company. I was clearly attracted to this man. It wasn’t just his cute looks that drew me to him. I didn’t even notice that he looked like Tom Cruise until after he mentioned it afterwards.
His lines sounded like player’s lines, but he was able to deliver it in a way that wasn’t obviously sleazy or crass. They actually sounded witty. Maybe it was his confidence, which is always a turn-on for me. Most guys would be put off after I push them to other women, but Mike just kept on going. I think the greatest compliment a man can give to a woman is his total attention — especially if he can pick up just about any girl in the room. And the fact that I was attracted to him and vice-versa became a very dangerous combination.
I was starting to get really nervous.
Truthfully, it’s not very easy for me to be attracted to someone. Sure, there will always be cute guys around, but I would like to believe that there was a high level of chemistry that was between us that night. I knew this was wrong though. I shouldn’t feel that day. But I couldn’t help it. I wanted to stay longer and get to know this guy, but at the same time, I felt I needed to escape. His presence was overwhelming, and I felt like a ball rolling over the cliff.
Good thing Mike was a gentleman all throughout. He mingled well, and got people drinks. But he also made sure he had enough alone time with me. The dominant thought that lingered in my mind was, “This guy’s a player. He’s got all the moves. He’s saying the right things. He must be very experienced. Nobody’s too good to be true.”
I mean, which American would ever travel to Italy to study Italian poetry, love Shakespeare, loves kids, likes to play pingpong (which I happen to love myself)? It just so happens he’s leaving in a month. Now, how convenient was that?! And what was I? His last conquest before he leaves?!
Second thought that ran in my mind: “Why me?” Geez, I’m going to sound as if I lack self-esteem. I don’t. I know I look great. But that day, other women were wearing less clothing than I am. I was merely wearing a simple mint green halter top and silk Chinese pants. That’s it. Not really the sexiest outfit ever. In addition, I wasn’t exactly very encouraging as well. Kai and Karen even had to ask me several times if I was interested in Mike, since the latter felt I wasn’t even interested.*
Without notice, it was already 4AM, and I felt that it was time to go. Mike asked me if I wanted to join them to Roxy Vibe, but the temptation was too big. I felt I had to resist. Besides, I had to teach the next day. After hearing my excuse, Mike was like, “But I’ve taught before with just an hour of sleep!” That’s true, but he was there. And I wanted to be a good girl that night.
So Mike walked me home. He did it because Roxy 99 was merely a 10-minute walk from my place. He also did it because Karen asked him to when he left earlier. I was becoming more nervous as we walked back. I kept on imploring him to walk slower,** and as we got nearer my place, I was worried he’d come up with an excuse to come up to my room. He must’ve sensed my discomfort because he promised that he wouldn’t come up to my room. After he sends me home, he’ll turn around and walk back. I raised my eyebrows at him. Really now?
When we got to my door, I fidgeted with my keys. I was afraid he was waiting for a kiss, which I couldn’t give him at that time anyway. He asked for my number just in case we can meet up again for coffee for something, and I gave it to him. There was nothing wrong with him getting my number. If he’s interested, he’ll call. If not, I’m just a girl whom he tried to score with but failed.
“What’s your name again?” he then asked.
I looked up to him in disbelief. After spending time with me the entire night, he forgot my name! Man, this guy’s a real player! I hit him lightly in the shoulder and started to go up.
“I’m kidding,” he exclaimed. “Here, see for yourself,” he added as he showed me his phone. And sure enough, there it was, my name: “XXXX.”
I then gave him a quick hug and started towards the door. “See ya later,” he said as he turned around and walked away.
As I looked at his disappearing form, I was a bit disappointed. He acted like a perfect gentleman, but he didn’t even try! Haha, girls are funny that way. I then headed upstairs and went straight to sleep.
But before I went to sleep, another thought entered my head.
I knew that by spending time with Mike, something in my life was going to change. I knew it the moment I woke up, the moment where I spent 30 minutes spacing out and thinking about my next move. It’s not about Mike. It was about what will happen in my current relationship. If I was heavily attracted to Mike, there must be something lacking in my current one. There are needs that aren’t satisfied. I’m not happy, and so, it was easy for me to be attracted to him. I knew I would be racked with guilt and confusion, but I also knew that this was a wake-up call.
That something is missing in my life, and Mike showed me what it was.
Even if he’s not staying here long, maybe this is Mike’s purpose. And for this, I’ll be forever grateful.
* Later, Mike said he was interested because I was one of the only people who didn’t start the conversation by saying, “Ooooh, you look so much like Tom Cruise!” Believe it? Oh, I feel so good now, knowing it’s by chance that he picked me. *Roll eyes*
** I walk slower than everyone else. I just don’t walk, I stroll. Besides, I was wearing freaking high heels that day.